Success! Even though I used the acme2 staging endpoint, it seems that it issued certificates. Is that normal?
Depending on how you did that, the staging environment can certainly issue certificates. But those are "fake" (i.e., not publically trusted).
Interesting. Should I revoke the "fake" certificate and request a real one before deploying? In the dehydrate config I changed the endpoint from staging to production and got this: Valid till Jan 12 17:40:42 2021 GMT (Longer than 30 days). Skipping renew!
FAKE certs are already unusable - there is no need to revoke them.
Try with --force (or the dehydrated equivalent)
[just don't add that to any script - that's a one time thing]
[for those that can't tweet]
Heh, personally I got off Twitter a few years ago. The only things I tweet now are service updates for jabber.org. 
Anyway, thank you thank you thank you to Griffin, _az, rg305, and Osiris - you folks are awesome!
I will like more posts here when I can. I'm out right now.
Have this in the meantime: 